Pornretard Diagnosis: Porn-sick and Proud of the Wetness

Read this before you touch anything, because tonight is not a tease. This is reverse psychology, done properly, by a woman who reads men by how fast their cock answers before their mouth does. I am not going to save you. I am going to name you accurately — porn-sick, gooner, trained — and then I am going to use every single thing you are ashamed of as fuel. I will tell you not to get more addicted, and you will get harder. I will order you to stop stroking, and you will fail that test in three seconds and pass mine. I will feed you affirmations until your own mouth installs them, hand on cock, smell in your lungs, shame turning into lubricant. There is no recovery speech here and no mercy orgasm. You finish when I rewrite the urge into yes. Press play and say it with me: I get harder when she says don’t.